Memoirs & Records

To Begin...

I have been toying with the idea of a "blog" part of this site for a few years (More of a "writings" section rather then any kind of self focused ramblings). I didn't feel there was much justification for it so I never made it. Consider this, finally making it. 

I have a significant amount of writing made for my story and world setting: "Novem" which I wouldn't mind sharing a few of. I am pretty self conscious of my writing, but how will I ever release anything if I don't try to some amount first?

I also would like to start recording my piano playing. I have made significant progress over the past year or so now and I have again, been way too scared to upload anything. But I want my progress logged, I want to remind myself where I came from and I want to have something to show for all my practice one day too. For context I did Grade 1 when I was in secondary school, but I could play a bit above that and I performed a piece I composed with the help of my then teacher at the end of secondary in their student concert. I stopped playing from then after basically completely, and only a couple (?) years ago got myself a piano to start again. I have no teacher and its proving impossible to find one so I've just been playing by myself trying to relearn everything. (I'd hesitate saying I'm self taught since that's not technically true, but I feel like all my progress relearning it has truly been by myself. I started off with flute in primary school so I've had foundational knowledge in music which obviously helps greatly.  (I live in a flat so theres no way I can play my flutes comfortably here despite having wanted to pick that up again too.) I made it a new years resolution to get some kind of tuition for piano since its actually BRUTAL raw-dogging Chopin Ballades and Nocturnes with bad habits and a lack of technical correction. (Ballade no.1 and no.4 more so if you're wondering. No-- I am not that level, but I am only engaged when I'm challenged and like the piece, otherwise I am bored and uninterested.) 

Additionally, while I'm not sure on these ideas yet; video game reviews, creative/making physical things/hobbies, and some very VERY light talk on my health progress. I really enjoyed writing reviews which I did a couple of in college and I feel I have very particular opinions on things that I could articulate well in writing. Not to mention a slightly more know-how basis because of my uni-course that lets me admire things others maybe don't notice. 

The second being the other creative hobbies I have that aren't digital, such as sewing, knitting, cooking and what have you. I would like to write on the process and what I am working on, if only to log and look back on the things I made, what I achieved, learn't and also for the sake of making something extra to tie my projects up that I haven't uploaded in completion elsewhere.

The health stuff, I have always been very hesitant about. Opening up about some specific stuff has never been a good experience for me and I feel I've finally learn't that lesson. What I am willing to speak on though is issues that can't be hidden visibly speaking, such as some OCD related things that show on my person physically and that I'm making solid progress on over the years. Issues where stigma is little in the UK is my only way of opening up anymore. I'd only talk on it in the context of the reader being able to relate and feel less alone, because that's something I've always appreciated from others sharing their experience, especially someone I've met before etc. etc. The same can be said for my personality overall. People don't know me well, at all, and I didn't really know myself till the past few years either. I am a very private person so if someone wanted to, it may serve benefit to share such thoughts. Something of me where otherwise no-one really knows much about my passions and beliefs. Only people who care would end up actually reading it right? In theory at least.

Basically in short, if I want to write on something, I will. If I delete it, I delete it. If it doesn't fit other categories, it doesn't matter, I know no one will read any of this at the end of the day, its too many words, too boring, offering them nothing to which I cannot blame that. It doesn't really affect me anymore that I am pretty invisible in the world. It has proven comforting having a space-- a nook I can call my own but that's made of one way glass. My attempted connection to the world, I do not mind.